Guys I just wanted to take some time to address a serious situation in the house. As we all know some of our housemates like to bully others, and I just wanted to shed a little light on this situation to see if we could somehow agree to attack this thing head on as a team.As you can all clearly see I have provided photographic evidence above of merely one of the random and numerous acts of bullying. Now some of us are certainly more guilty than others, and I won't name name's, but I believe our household bully goes by the alias of a "Marc Rossi".
This is a severe problem we all need to address if we want to have a safe and enjoyable year. A year free from ridicule, crude remarks, harsh criticisms, and of course physical violence. The culprit does not handle direct intervention kindly and may refuse to hear any peace talks. As we all know "MR" is a very volatile and unstable individual, one who is capable of snapping at any given moment.
Whether with a loud grunt, harsh remark, or a devastating sleeper hold (as seen above) we must all be on the lookout and fully committed to stopping MR's household bullying if we want the estate to be the safe haven we all know it should be. I've included a list below of some peaceful ways in which we can avoid and hopefully put an end to MR's household bullying, and I hope that these can be a help in future incidents of bullying.
Tips for avoiding attack
-Run in zig-zag patterns or up stairs (MR is not very nimble and with any luck the bully will take a tumble before he can get his beating in and simply give up on the hunt)
-Leave food items out to occupy MR (chef boyardee, cake, hostess ho-ho's, etc. are all great diversions)
-Use the TV to your advantage (occupy the beast's time with shows like entourage or sports center...these shows have been known to occupy MR for hours and may have a calming effect on the bully)
hahahahahahahahhahahahaha
ReplyDeletehahahaha
ReplyDeletemy question is this: is there any stopping him? or can we only try to run?
marc is going to hate us so much more this year than the previous years...im stocking up on ho-ho's personally boys...everybody has a weakness, we just need to exploit it
ReplyDeletealso ryan although informative and very worth while advice your forgot MR's acts of sexual harassment and endless supply of comebacks, bring any worthy adversary to his knees.
-Bully Butt Thong, MR has been notorious to engage in his ritualistic mating call of pulling his boxers up tight into the crack of his ass giving the appearance of some sort of man thong. Enticing one to believe he's harmless, which we all know to be false.
-SERIOUSLY!! We all know it, no way to prep for it and or win against it, just take the defeat with pride
zack and brian you both bring valid points to the table
ReplyDeleteto answer you brian...i don't know that we can STOP him, i feel we can only hope to contain him
zack you bring up GREAT points. The bully butt thong has haunted us for going on 3 years now
WE MUST FIND AND EXPLOIT THE BEAST'S WEAKNESSES IF WE WANT ANY CHANCE OF PEACE
MR often lulls you into a false sense of security by assuring you that he's just "chillin', you?"
ReplyDeleteBe aware though, this is just a diversion tactic and he's capable of pouncing at any time
JESUS his tactics and schemes are ENDLESS, i dont know if i can handle it.
ReplyDeleteWere really going to have to pull together to even stand a chance...seriously
it's definitely going to take a lot MR is highly skilled and experienced
ReplyDelete...i've heard legendary stories of bullying dating all the way back to blessed sacrament recess playground days
he's good...we're going to have to really band together if we want to have even the smallest chance of containing the beast
I believe I have found the plan to take down this beast. All we need is a pair of Shipe's PF Flyers, just as the boys used in The Sandlot. If we can lure the beast out and have him chase us (although he will never catch us with our unmatched speed with the flyers). Then we can hop the fence of our old stomping grounds at the Fairgrounds Fortress and trap the beast, MR, underneath the tower fortress wall and he will never be the same.
ReplyDeleteI believe this plan can be executed flawlessly with the blueprint that has been given to us by Smalls, Yea yea, squince, and the rest of the Sandlot gang.
I know there is no guarantees to stopping this beast, but I believe this is our best shot.
NICK i think this is a great plan...we need to start the blueprint ASAP
ReplyDeletewe know the beast doesn't like to show up early so I give us at least 5 days worth of planning/training before MR graces us with his presence
you can't stop me. try it boys. i dare you
ReplyDelete